Monday, August 30, 2010

Webs

Late August brings out the spiders. Drive across a bridge between PA and NJ at night, and you'll see more webs between the beams than stars in the sky. This arachnid handiwork is both wondrous and creepy - beautiful from a distance, but you wouldn't want to get stuck there.

Reflecting on these magnificent creations...and cheesy Biblical tie-ins...the following passage comes to mind:

"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell." Matthew 5:30

What is the "right hand" for you? What self-created "webs" entangle you? How do we free ourselves from getting stuck?

One part of my life that sometimes bogs me down is conflict. Conflict is not in my comfort zone; instead, my default mode is harmony. I generally want to get along with people and want them to like me. Taken to an extreme, such tendencies can make me a "people pleaser;" the other side of that coin is "nice guy." Whether we say tomato or too-mah-toe, the point is that conflict often catches me off guard, and arguments tend to stay with me for a while.

As a result, I replay arguments in my head long after the fact. Of course, I perform far better on the home turf of my imagination where I make one irrefutable point after another; in other words, I win!

Certainly, the competitive drive is an instinct that promotes achievement, growth, and success. My theological, political, and economic philosophies all rest upon the inherent human desire for freedom and opportunity.

And yet, I've got to remind myself that, as a Christian, my mission in life is not to win arguments. My directive is to follow Christ. Among other things, that means keeping my ego in check.

I believe that my web is a focus on WINNING the conflict rather than WITNESSING for Christ within conflict.

Cutting off the sin of pride - that's not easy, especially for a privileged straight white male like me. It's going to take lots of practice with active, calm, open listening. Would love to hear how other people keep their egos in check.

To repeat earlier questions: What webs catch you? How do you sever the arm that got you there? How do you keep your pride behind Jesus rather than in front of him?

8 comments:

  1. Regarding: your comment that "my web is a focus on WINNING the conflict rather than WITNESSING for Christ within conflict"... Stanley Hauerwas wrote a wonderful essay entitled, "Peacemaking: the virtue of the Church" in which he looks at Matthew 18:15-22 regarding conflict in the community of Jesus' followers. It is a fascinating read (and short!) that speaks to this very matter of conflict. You may find it a worthwhile read. :)

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  2. Always good to hear from my seminary pal, Amanda Ethics. :-)
    I agree, Stanley Hauerwas kicks butt. Never read much of him until this summer when I used "The Peaceable Kingdom" and, ironically, his commentary on Matthew. I will be sure to check out the essay.
    Thanks for the recommendation!

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  4. Sean, you got it wrong. My MIDDLE name is "Ethics" not my last name (or surname if you're in South Africa)! ;) Anyways, let me know what you think of the essay if you get the chance to read it.

    <3 Amanda "Ethics" Akes

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  5. Au contraire, mademoiselle: we agree. I simply listed your first & middle names, then omitted the last name. You know, it's like Billy Ray, Bobbie Sue, Tommy Lee, Amanda Ethics....

    So, in other words, I was right the first time. I win the argument!! Hey, what are all these cobwebs doing on my laptop?

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  6. Ditto Amanda! By the way, were you talking to me or Sister Sarah?

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