We live in a technological era which erodes privacy; welcome to 2010. I aid and abet this tendency whenever I gawk at Youtube candid footage or read blogs that could be more discreet.
Lately, I've been fighting the urge to vent my spleen about private business between me and someone else, someone who matters.
Venting, aka letting off steam, is a healthful practice. It helps release tension, lessening the chance that anxiety will be internalized. I've got some steam that I'd like to vent, but in the interest of discretion - changing the names to protect the innocent - I'm going to blow smoke instead of steam. IOW, I'm not going to tell the story explicitly in blogdom.
Instead, I'll tell it in code. NUBBU....nubbu po lij tvedc'k wwwwuqu. Scxeedde wheet VOU lonner tash bonna wox rioghan, rioghan. Dasai immo hoffa po qui meekloem, zep utre dueckso. Zoc zoc liitosh t'kao, reiquovon kliedsah oc trvest! Kalickiwat, tosha me wadate, kalickiwat!!
Before the Mensa Minds dig out their decoder rings, they should know that my rant is not really "code" but is more appropriately classified as "gibberish." There's no secret message, no revelation about Al Gore's libido, no juicy gossip to be found. It's just a lot of smoke and steam.
So there you have it: a privacy-protecting rant. I'm feeling better already. Kalickiwat.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Fantasy Baseball
As I type and as you read, we are co-creating electronic footprints. Somewhere it is being recorded that you, the reader, have pulled up my blog site; it is also noted that I am creating this log.
Some entity - NASA, Microsoft, extra-terrestrial life - may choose to review my e-footprints. They can examine phone records, noting who I talked to and for how long. (Two-plus years of long-distance relationships will give them plenty of material.) They will see my purchasing history. They can note what web sites I frequented and how often I checked e-mail.
They will also discover that I'm a pretty darn good Fantasy Baseball general manager.
In 2002, a group of fellow Notre Dame alums assembled a ten-player league through the Yahoo web site. My friend Lance, a baseball fanatic, invited me to join. He made me an offer that I couldn't refuse. I had no idea what I was doing, but I stumbled along and learned on the job. The records from year one have not survived, but I'm pretty sure that my team struggled.
Check out the run that followed:
2002 - ? place, did not make playoffs
2003 - 1st-place finish in the regular season, 3rd in postseason (bye, loss, win)
2004 - 2nd in reg season, 1st in postseason (bye, win, win)
2005 - 7th place, did not make the playoffs
2006 - 2nd reg season, 1st post (bye, win, win)
2007 - 4th reg season, 2nd post (win, win, lost Championship in tiebreaker)
2008 - 2nd reg season, 1st post (bye, win, win)
2009 - 1st reg season, 3rd post (bye, loss, win)
2010 - 2nd in the standings, only one game behind the first-place team (as of week 12 in the 22-week season)
Team names: "Time On My Hands" (2002-05), "Bristol Babylonians" (2006-07), and "Cambridge Prophets" (2008-present).
In eight years, I have won 3 championships, 1 second-place finish, and 2 third-place finishes. I have finished in the top 3 in six of the last seven seasons.
My postseason record is 10-3.
Let's hope that my skill/good luck in fantasy b-ball carries over into some real-life skill. For instance, it would be nice to be good at pastoral ministry, homiletics, automobile maintenance, home repair, being a loyal friend, finding a mate, getting things done on time, financial management, fighting for social justice... it's a long list.
Play ball!
Some entity - NASA, Microsoft, extra-terrestrial life - may choose to review my e-footprints. They can examine phone records, noting who I talked to and for how long. (Two-plus years of long-distance relationships will give them plenty of material.) They will see my purchasing history. They can note what web sites I frequented and how often I checked e-mail.
They will also discover that I'm a pretty darn good Fantasy Baseball general manager.
In 2002, a group of fellow Notre Dame alums assembled a ten-player league through the Yahoo web site. My friend Lance, a baseball fanatic, invited me to join. He made me an offer that I couldn't refuse. I had no idea what I was doing, but I stumbled along and learned on the job. The records from year one have not survived, but I'm pretty sure that my team struggled.
Check out the run that followed:
2002 - ? place, did not make playoffs
2003 - 1st-place finish in the regular season, 3rd in postseason (bye, loss, win)
2004 - 2nd in reg season, 1st in postseason (bye, win, win)
2005 - 7th place, did not make the playoffs
2006 - 2nd reg season, 1st post (bye, win, win)
2007 - 4th reg season, 2nd post (win, win, lost Championship in tiebreaker)
2008 - 2nd reg season, 1st post (bye, win, win)
2009 - 1st reg season, 3rd post (bye, loss, win)
2010 - 2nd in the standings, only one game behind the first-place team (as of week 12 in the 22-week season)
Team names: "Time On My Hands" (2002-05), "Bristol Babylonians" (2006-07), and "Cambridge Prophets" (2008-present).
In eight years, I have won 3 championships, 1 second-place finish, and 2 third-place finishes. I have finished in the top 3 in six of the last seven seasons.
My postseason record is 10-3.
Let's hope that my skill/good luck in fantasy b-ball carries over into some real-life skill. For instance, it would be nice to be good at pastoral ministry, homiletics, automobile maintenance, home repair, being a loyal friend, finding a mate, getting things done on time, financial management, fighting for social justice... it's a long list.
Play ball!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Prophets Authentic and Otherwise
In the Episcopal Church, today celebrates the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist.
Cue non-Episcopal audience reaction: z-z-z-z-z-z....
Well, John the Baptist has significance, even today. His greatest claim to fame, as told in the four Christian canonical gospels, is that he baptized Jesus of Nazareth. His infancy narrative is told only in Luke, and it serves as a companion story to the Nativity of Jesus.
In all four gospels, John goes out of his way to proclaim that Jesus is the true prophet. Many biblical scholars think that John was, like Jesus, a charismatic preacher who attracted a following. In the years following the execution of John and Jesus, the surviving movements might have competed against each other, both thinking that their leader was The True Prophet.
It is possible that John did, in fact, defer to Jesus. There is also the possibility that his character is just written that way; the gospel writers wanted to sublimate John to the Man from Nazareth. Hence, we get John's not-worthy-to-untie-his-sandals comments. In other words, the gospel authors wanted to distinguish between A prophet and THE prophet.
How do we recognize authentic prophets? For that matter, how do we reconcile matters when authentic prophets rival each other?
Leaving this question open, I'll close by recommending a short story. Check out T.C. Boyle's "The Silence," a fictional send-up of New Age pretensions. Boyle shows what happens when Present Moment People on a desert retreat encounter morally-neutral representatives of the animal kingdom. I found the story in the Atlantic magazine 2010 Fiction issue. For your convenience, the on-line link is listed.
Choose your prophets carefully!
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/08/the-silence/8040/
Cue non-Episcopal audience reaction: z-z-z-z-z-z....
Well, John the Baptist has significance, even today. His greatest claim to fame, as told in the four Christian canonical gospels, is that he baptized Jesus of Nazareth. His infancy narrative is told only in Luke, and it serves as a companion story to the Nativity of Jesus.
In all four gospels, John goes out of his way to proclaim that Jesus is the true prophet. Many biblical scholars think that John was, like Jesus, a charismatic preacher who attracted a following. In the years following the execution of John and Jesus, the surviving movements might have competed against each other, both thinking that their leader was The True Prophet.
It is possible that John did, in fact, defer to Jesus. There is also the possibility that his character is just written that way; the gospel writers wanted to sublimate John to the Man from Nazareth. Hence, we get John's not-worthy-to-untie-his-sandals comments. In other words, the gospel authors wanted to distinguish between A prophet and THE prophet.
How do we recognize authentic prophets? For that matter, how do we reconcile matters when authentic prophets rival each other?
Leaving this question open, I'll close by recommending a short story. Check out T.C. Boyle's "The Silence," a fictional send-up of New Age pretensions. Boyle shows what happens when Present Moment People on a desert retreat encounter morally-neutral representatives of the animal kingdom. I found the story in the Atlantic magazine 2010 Fiction issue. For your convenience, the on-line link is listed.
Choose your prophets carefully!
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/08/the-silence/8040/
Saturday, June 19, 2010
EDS Highlights
This is my last night as a resident/student in Cambridge, MA. Yesterday was my last time as an MDiv classroom student (even though I graduated in May...I'll spare you the administrative details). Endings are a good time for reflection, and I've been thinking about the highlights of my two-year, ten-month tenure at the Episcopal Divinity School.
Matriculation, 2007 - This was the official welcome ceremony for new students. It is based on a medieval tradition which has been explained to me five times now but still eludes my comprehension. Nonetheless, the service is basically a reverse graduation ceremony, enfolding us into the scholastic and seminary community. Best of all was the surprise at ceremony's end which I won't give away here. I'll simply describe it as act of humility and radical welcome that I've grown to expect from EDS and the Episcopal Church.
Matriculation, January 2010 - Served as a torchbearer on the Day of Epiphany. Beginning with the lighting of my candle, this day ignited (pardon the pun) a light in my life that shined all the way to Pentecost.
Homiletics - I have three favorite sermon moments:
(1) Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, President & Dean of EDS during my first year, gave two of the best sermons I have experienced anywhere. In the first few weeks, he challenged us to remember that we are not called to be popular but to stand against oppression and to follow Christ. Bishop Charleston told us, in that moment, to let go of the anxieties, the wounds, the troubles that prevent us from doing so...right...now. Blogging won't give justice to that moment, but trust me when I say that he had our attention. Many of his responded to the immediacy of his challenge.
(2)November 5, 2009 - My first and only EDS sermon. What an honor to preach in the chapel space occupied by so many saints past and present. It was a gift to contribute after listening to so many other sermons. My criticism of flip-flops, however, got me in trouble with one or two flop-wearing 'mates. Gotta expect resistance when rebuking sacred cows!
(3) Liberation Preaching - My most formative EDS class of all time, Fredrica Thompsett's course uncovered three of my gifts: a passion for preaching, the ability to focus a message into a five-minute sermon, and the fortitude to preach without notes. This outstanding class has transformed my ministry, no kidding. (P.S. Honorable mention for best course goes to the Gospel of John taught by Prof. Larry Wills in the Fall of 2008. Mind-blowing philosophical stuff.)
Blue Christmas service, December '07 - EDS chapel hosted an evening worship dedicated to anger, sadness, and other emotions which fly under the holiday season radar. Feeling not-so-merry after a messy breakup, I needed a place to shed tears, light candles, and voice my rage. Grieving among friends in the chapel made my struggle a sacred healing experience.
Group Spiritual Direction - My spiritual posse for three years, this group kept me sane and tought me how to listen and love. Lead by the Rev. Katherine Stiles, "my spiritual bishop," our unnamed group had some rotating members during the first 1.5 years, but in January '09 the group settled into the composition it held through graduation. We shared countless moments of grace and mutuality, but the one that comes to mind is the Poinsettia story (to be told another time).
Speeches:
(1a)Harvey H. Guthrie speech - Dr. Guthrie, EDS Dean Emeritus, gave the keynote address at the St. John's Dinner on October 24, 2008. He offered a fascinating perspective about our fast-changing world and how EDS is right on its vanguard. "What is going on, I believe, is a theological sea change...in the long run, the Reformation and the Enlightenment will pale in significance...."
http://www.eds.edu/CURRENT/PDF/Sermons/GuthrieSJS08.pdf
(1b)Richard Rohr, O.F.M. - Had the pleasure of meeting spiritual guru Rohr when he delivered the Kellogg Lectures on campus in May of 2009. Great teacher, kind man, and author of the most profound lecture I've ever heard on campus.
Installation of Rev. Katherine Ragsdale - Had the honor of carrying an EDS banner in the march to the installation of our new president. Viva la presidente!
Episcopal Seminarian Leadership Conference - Classmate Amanda Akes and I conspired to bring our fellow seminarians to Cambridge for this annual conference. We busted our rear ends to make it happen. The community embraced the idea; we had help across the spectrum of Board President Brett Donham to part-time commuter students. Thanks to such broad and enthusiastic participation, our guests gave EDS rave reviews. Seldom have I been so proud of my seminary family.
Both/And Talent Shows 2009 & 2010 - Every community should have a talent show once at least every two years. Such performances reveal our hidden selves, create bonds within the community, and are fun in unpredictable ways.
In 2009, Hilary Greer stole the show as St. Hildegaard, answering the phones at the gates of Heaven while St. Peter took a sick day. In real life, she was a day-of replacement for the actor who was supposed to play Peter!
As for 2010, here's my favorite moment: Randy Callender, host and graduating senior, delivers opening monologue about how he eagerly awaits his freedom from grad school obligations. EDS Development Director William Vaughan walks on stage to recruit Randy as a "Friend of the Program" donor.
William: "What shall I put you down for?"
Randy (in a Scrooge-like role): "Nothing!"
William: "So you wish to remain anonymous?"
These memories keep my soul healthy. Months & years later, I can't help but chuckle out loud. :-)
Graduation 2010 - By no means was this assured. I had to work hard to graduate, especially during the spring semester and particularly the last five weeks when I turned into a desk-bound hermit. Pride, pride, pride not just for myself but for my deserving comrades. It sure felt good to wear that black robe shoulder-to-shoulder with my sisters and brothers!
This is just a sampling of the blessings I experienced on my seminary's campus. Would love to stay and create more memories...
...but when it's time, it's time. Sniff.
Goodbye, EDS, for now!
No, William, I don't wish to be anonymous.
Matriculation, 2007 - This was the official welcome ceremony for new students. It is based on a medieval tradition which has been explained to me five times now but still eludes my comprehension. Nonetheless, the service is basically a reverse graduation ceremony, enfolding us into the scholastic and seminary community. Best of all was the surprise at ceremony's end which I won't give away here. I'll simply describe it as act of humility and radical welcome that I've grown to expect from EDS and the Episcopal Church.
Matriculation, January 2010 - Served as a torchbearer on the Day of Epiphany. Beginning with the lighting of my candle, this day ignited (pardon the pun) a light in my life that shined all the way to Pentecost.
Homiletics - I have three favorite sermon moments:
(1) Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, President & Dean of EDS during my first year, gave two of the best sermons I have experienced anywhere. In the first few weeks, he challenged us to remember that we are not called to be popular but to stand against oppression and to follow Christ. Bishop Charleston told us, in that moment, to let go of the anxieties, the wounds, the troubles that prevent us from doing so...right...now. Blogging won't give justice to that moment, but trust me when I say that he had our attention. Many of his responded to the immediacy of his challenge.
(2)November 5, 2009 - My first and only EDS sermon. What an honor to preach in the chapel space occupied by so many saints past and present. It was a gift to contribute after listening to so many other sermons. My criticism of flip-flops, however, got me in trouble with one or two flop-wearing 'mates. Gotta expect resistance when rebuking sacred cows!
(3) Liberation Preaching - My most formative EDS class of all time, Fredrica Thompsett's course uncovered three of my gifts: a passion for preaching, the ability to focus a message into a five-minute sermon, and the fortitude to preach without notes. This outstanding class has transformed my ministry, no kidding. (P.S. Honorable mention for best course goes to the Gospel of John taught by Prof. Larry Wills in the Fall of 2008. Mind-blowing philosophical stuff.)
Blue Christmas service, December '07 - EDS chapel hosted an evening worship dedicated to anger, sadness, and other emotions which fly under the holiday season radar. Feeling not-so-merry after a messy breakup, I needed a place to shed tears, light candles, and voice my rage. Grieving among friends in the chapel made my struggle a sacred healing experience.
Group Spiritual Direction - My spiritual posse for three years, this group kept me sane and tought me how to listen and love. Lead by the Rev. Katherine Stiles, "my spiritual bishop," our unnamed group had some rotating members during the first 1.5 years, but in January '09 the group settled into the composition it held through graduation. We shared countless moments of grace and mutuality, but the one that comes to mind is the Poinsettia story (to be told another time).
Speeches:
(1a)Harvey H. Guthrie speech - Dr. Guthrie, EDS Dean Emeritus, gave the keynote address at the St. John's Dinner on October 24, 2008. He offered a fascinating perspective about our fast-changing world and how EDS is right on its vanguard. "What is going on, I believe, is a theological sea change...in the long run, the Reformation and the Enlightenment will pale in significance...."
http://www.eds.edu/CURRENT/PDF/Sermons/GuthrieSJS08.pdf
(1b)Richard Rohr, O.F.M. - Had the pleasure of meeting spiritual guru Rohr when he delivered the Kellogg Lectures on campus in May of 2009. Great teacher, kind man, and author of the most profound lecture I've ever heard on campus.
Installation of Rev. Katherine Ragsdale - Had the honor of carrying an EDS banner in the march to the installation of our new president. Viva la presidente!
Episcopal Seminarian Leadership Conference - Classmate Amanda Akes and I conspired to bring our fellow seminarians to Cambridge for this annual conference. We busted our rear ends to make it happen. The community embraced the idea; we had help across the spectrum of Board President Brett Donham to part-time commuter students. Thanks to such broad and enthusiastic participation, our guests gave EDS rave reviews. Seldom have I been so proud of my seminary family.
Both/And Talent Shows 2009 & 2010 - Every community should have a talent show once at least every two years. Such performances reveal our hidden selves, create bonds within the community, and are fun in unpredictable ways.
In 2009, Hilary Greer stole the show as St. Hildegaard, answering the phones at the gates of Heaven while St. Peter took a sick day. In real life, she was a day-of replacement for the actor who was supposed to play Peter!
As for 2010, here's my favorite moment: Randy Callender, host and graduating senior, delivers opening monologue about how he eagerly awaits his freedom from grad school obligations. EDS Development Director William Vaughan walks on stage to recruit Randy as a "Friend of the Program" donor.
William: "What shall I put you down for?"
Randy (in a Scrooge-like role): "Nothing!"
William: "So you wish to remain anonymous?"
These memories keep my soul healthy. Months & years later, I can't help but chuckle out loud. :-)
Graduation 2010 - By no means was this assured. I had to work hard to graduate, especially during the spring semester and particularly the last five weeks when I turned into a desk-bound hermit. Pride, pride, pride not just for myself but for my deserving comrades. It sure felt good to wear that black robe shoulder-to-shoulder with my sisters and brothers!
This is just a sampling of the blessings I experienced on my seminary's campus. Would love to stay and create more memories...
...but when it's time, it's time. Sniff.
Goodbye, EDS, for now!
No, William, I don't wish to be anonymous.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Hello, Goodbyes
Monday began my last week on campus at the Episcopal Divinity School and final week of classes for my Master of Divinity degree. I'm trying my best to soak in every moment, take lots of pictures, and appreciate the amazing people who surround me.
Of course, the encore victory lap includes another round of goodbyes after a bye-full month of May. In the last 48 hours, three close friends have said their farewells of sorts, and more await.
This is sacred and bittersweet space.
Of course, the encore victory lap includes another round of goodbyes after a bye-full month of May. In the last 48 hours, three close friends have said their farewells of sorts, and more await.
This is sacred and bittersweet space.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Jude, Part Deux
Reflecting on Judas warrants a few important caveats.
First and foremost, render judgment with great humility. We almost never have all the facts. (That's why, by the way, I'm dying to read a substantial novel later this summer, because fiction is the one arena where we do have complete information.)
Betrayals trigger strong feelings and quick judgments. In my case, I thought that I understood Jude's motivation. Then I asked questions and watched the truth unfold like May flowers. Petal by petal, reality came into focus. Once I had a fuller picture, Jude's action didn't seem quite so hurtful. Sometimes he isn't as bad as his reputation insists.
Second, having an Iscariot in one's life does not make one Jesus. I am not Christ! (At least not more than anyone else.) I am no martyr, just a lifetime subscriber to "Human Race" magazine.
Third, it's important to check, double-check, and triple-check one's information. The great 20th-century philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein remarked how humanity has an infinite capacity for self-deception. People have rationalized their actions ever since God confronted Adam & Eve about the missing apple. Thus, in my quest for understanding, it's helpful to have a support network of advisers to keep me honest. It's too tempting to bend the data into the picture I want to see.
If nothing else, meditating on Iscariot makes me appreciate the value of friendship. Good friends are absolutely essential. We need their help navigating through the wilderness east of Eden.
First and foremost, render judgment with great humility. We almost never have all the facts. (That's why, by the way, I'm dying to read a substantial novel later this summer, because fiction is the one arena where we do have complete information.)
Betrayals trigger strong feelings and quick judgments. In my case, I thought that I understood Jude's motivation. Then I asked questions and watched the truth unfold like May flowers. Petal by petal, reality came into focus. Once I had a fuller picture, Jude's action didn't seem quite so hurtful. Sometimes he isn't as bad as his reputation insists.
Second, having an Iscariot in one's life does not make one Jesus. I am not Christ! (At least not more than anyone else.) I am no martyr, just a lifetime subscriber to "Human Race" magazine.
Third, it's important to check, double-check, and triple-check one's information. The great 20th-century philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein remarked how humanity has an infinite capacity for self-deception. People have rationalized their actions ever since God confronted Adam & Eve about the missing apple. Thus, in my quest for understanding, it's helpful to have a support network of advisers to keep me honest. It's too tempting to bend the data into the picture I want to see.
If nothing else, meditating on Iscariot makes me appreciate the value of friendship. Good friends are absolutely essential. We need their help navigating through the wilderness east of Eden.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Judas, My Friend
Judas Iscariot lives on. I know him and love him. So what do we do now?
As every Christian knows, Judas was the disciple who betrayed Jesus of Nazareth to his enemies. The Gospel of Matthew reports that Judas sold him out for 30 silver pieces (Matt 26:15, 27:3). The other canonical gospels report only that Judas received "some money" (Mark 14:11, Luke 22:5); John does not even mention a motivation. Nevertheless, in all four scenarios, Judas is portrayed as making the gravest of mistakes. None of them give much insight into why he turned on Jesus or what, exactly, he later regretted.
I find myself wondering about a parallel-universe scenario. Suppose, for the moment, that Jesus did NOT die on the cross after the trail adjudicated by Pontius Pilate. Imagine that Pilate stuck to his guns, the unruly crowd grew bored, and everyone went their separate ways. As a result, Judas also survives, because there is no murder on his conscience.
With Jesus and Judas reunited, what happens next? Would Judas try to reclaim his place among The Twelve? Would Jesus encourage him to return, or would he revoke his membership card?
This is not just a hypothetical question. Everyone one of us will be betrayed at some point - every single one. It's a reality of the human condition. And it begs an important Q: what do WE do when someone Iscariot-izes us? I'm far from a definitive answer, but I have reflections to share.
Based on the recorded teachings and behavior of Jesus, I'm going out on a limb to say that we should still love the traitor. Jesus probably remembered why he loved and trusted Disciple Iscariot in the first place. Jesus didn't forget that Judas, in his moments of weakness, did not forfeit his status as God's sacred creation. Jesus did not let the "shadow side" (to use a Jungian term) of Judas trigger his own shadow. Rather than answering eye for eye, sin for sin, he let go of whatever was bothering Judas (impatience, jealousy, greed, rage... or perhaps he was bipolar without the benefits of meds?).
At the same time, love & forgiveness are compatible with an essential concept in justice and reconciliation: accountability. Jesus did not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it (Matt 5:17b). Even though we have Christ and other religious figures to inspire us, we still need to have rules and guidelines about how to treat each other. So I'm guessing that Judas would be O-U-T as a trusted disciple.
I would also speculate that Jesus would not replace Judas among the Twelve, at least not at first. Emotionally centered man that he is, Jesus would give the Eleven time to vent, grieve, and adjust. (On the subject of loss, a wise person once told me that "women grieve and men replace." Perhaps we dudes should give ourselves permission to feel our losses and not plug emotional holes so quickly.)
In sum, my Judas tonic is threefold: process all of one's feelings, especially the unpleasant ones; keep our eyes on the ball, reminding ourselves of the second great commandment to love our neighbor (Mark 28:31); and hold people accountable, especially ourselves.
The subject of self accountability brings me to the Rule of Rotating Biblical Characters. At different points in our lives, we all find ourselves in the roles of different scripture characters. Sometimes we are Mary, humbled and overwhelmed by God's blessings; sometimes we are Jacob, causing all kinds of chaos; and then we have those Iscariot moments. Our misdeeds almost never reach the Judas level, but we do betray trust in many forms and degrees of severity. I, for one, have betrayed the trust of good people more often than I want to admit.
You see, I know Judas because I am Judas. He is me, and he is also my brother. We broke bread at the same table. We shared laughter and tears. We talked books, history, religion, family, the meaning of existence. We sang, prayed, and worshiped together. Literally and figuratively, we embraced. And then came that betrayal thing.
Yes, Judas lives, and I believe he will always be part of this earthly world. With Judas inside me and beside me, I'm trying to live into the Christian hope: no matter what betrayals befall us, no matter what acts of mistrust that we commit, the commandment to love stands below, beside, above, and through us all.
I conclude with a message to Jude, my friend. Even though your seat at Table Twelve is empty, remember that I love you. And when I am grieving, feel free to remind me that Jesus loves us both.
As every Christian knows, Judas was the disciple who betrayed Jesus of Nazareth to his enemies. The Gospel of Matthew reports that Judas sold him out for 30 silver pieces (Matt 26:15, 27:3). The other canonical gospels report only that Judas received "some money" (Mark 14:11, Luke 22:5); John does not even mention a motivation. Nevertheless, in all four scenarios, Judas is portrayed as making the gravest of mistakes. None of them give much insight into why he turned on Jesus or what, exactly, he later regretted.
I find myself wondering about a parallel-universe scenario. Suppose, for the moment, that Jesus did NOT die on the cross after the trail adjudicated by Pontius Pilate. Imagine that Pilate stuck to his guns, the unruly crowd grew bored, and everyone went their separate ways. As a result, Judas also survives, because there is no murder on his conscience.
With Jesus and Judas reunited, what happens next? Would Judas try to reclaim his place among The Twelve? Would Jesus encourage him to return, or would he revoke his membership card?
This is not just a hypothetical question. Everyone one of us will be betrayed at some point - every single one. It's a reality of the human condition. And it begs an important Q: what do WE do when someone Iscariot-izes us? I'm far from a definitive answer, but I have reflections to share.
Based on the recorded teachings and behavior of Jesus, I'm going out on a limb to say that we should still love the traitor. Jesus probably remembered why he loved and trusted Disciple Iscariot in the first place. Jesus didn't forget that Judas, in his moments of weakness, did not forfeit his status as God's sacred creation. Jesus did not let the "shadow side" (to use a Jungian term) of Judas trigger his own shadow. Rather than answering eye for eye, sin for sin, he let go of whatever was bothering Judas (impatience, jealousy, greed, rage... or perhaps he was bipolar without the benefits of meds?).
At the same time, love & forgiveness are compatible with an essential concept in justice and reconciliation: accountability. Jesus did not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it (Matt 5:17b). Even though we have Christ and other religious figures to inspire us, we still need to have rules and guidelines about how to treat each other. So I'm guessing that Judas would be O-U-T as a trusted disciple.
I would also speculate that Jesus would not replace Judas among the Twelve, at least not at first. Emotionally centered man that he is, Jesus would give the Eleven time to vent, grieve, and adjust. (On the subject of loss, a wise person once told me that "women grieve and men replace." Perhaps we dudes should give ourselves permission to feel our losses and not plug emotional holes so quickly.)
In sum, my Judas tonic is threefold: process all of one's feelings, especially the unpleasant ones; keep our eyes on the ball, reminding ourselves of the second great commandment to love our neighbor (Mark 28:31); and hold people accountable, especially ourselves.
The subject of self accountability brings me to the Rule of Rotating Biblical Characters. At different points in our lives, we all find ourselves in the roles of different scripture characters. Sometimes we are Mary, humbled and overwhelmed by God's blessings; sometimes we are Jacob, causing all kinds of chaos; and then we have those Iscariot moments. Our misdeeds almost never reach the Judas level, but we do betray trust in many forms and degrees of severity. I, for one, have betrayed the trust of good people more often than I want to admit.
You see, I know Judas because I am Judas. He is me, and he is also my brother. We broke bread at the same table. We shared laughter and tears. We talked books, history, religion, family, the meaning of existence. We sang, prayed, and worshiped together. Literally and figuratively, we embraced. And then came that betrayal thing.
Yes, Judas lives, and I believe he will always be part of this earthly world. With Judas inside me and beside me, I'm trying to live into the Christian hope: no matter what betrayals befall us, no matter what acts of mistrust that we commit, the commandment to love stands below, beside, above, and through us all.
I conclude with a message to Jude, my friend. Even though your seat at Table Twelve is empty, remember that I love you. And when I am grieving, feel free to remind me that Jesus loves us both.
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